I miss you

The day I knew you is the happiest day of my life. You opened my eyes. You showed me it was all ok. You gave me everything I ever needed. Unconditional loving, relentless understanding, compassion, you were never angry with me. I wish I was as strong as you. I wish I was as patient as you. Every day I think of you. I just want to make you happy and proud of me. I'll hurt for you, take in all the pain, I will suffer for you. I'm sorry my words aren't as beautiful as they will be. One day I'll write you what you deserve. I'll show the world your beauty, I'll live my life trying to capture you so that everyone can see what I see.

I'm sober for you. Because you asked me to. I found you high, I wish we were closer. If I ever use again it will be for you. I'm sorry. I want to scratch myself. I want you to see how bad it hurts sometimes. But that would just make you sad, so I don't. If they knew what I knew everything would be different.

I want to see the world by your side. I want to show you all of my favorite songs, and listen together. I know you'll listen.  I trust you, you're the most important part of my life. I'm sorry I can't sing to you. I miss writing you things, I know you love to read.

I'd do anything to be back. I love you the most.