my stylus breaths in clicks, like touches of granite on marble. minutes spent looking at old pain brought life to my pen pad and hands. Left behind is the scar on the chest, the bruised and bloated face the effigy of guilt run ruckus. teeth on skin barely register as pain, like a hard kiss it lingers wet. fuck monotony, I crave my muse, she aches and breaths the sobs with me undying though I strangled her in those foggy years. Like a dream i wandered, floated through life. slow but sure I shed the skin of insecurity, the mask forged for me and welded to my being in hopes i would conform. begone i told, firm bold and cold to it's heavy implications. self esteem is hard to wring out of a dried visage. The heavy mind when still sinks smooth and deep, bathed in cold it savors the bite. Ice in my veins, fire in my arteries, I swallow the match, behold my vapors fume and coalesce with tempered restraint. my starving heart barks for bone, snaps on hope and tastes her glimmer. shock, empty the barrel on this god forsaken earth, fuck her standards and bury the glock nine inches deep. bereft of bullets suck her marrow, leave her shallow and shaken, then spit back color, dripping palettes bleeds in fountains. wreck your lungs young one, take my breath when gasps run dry. In turn mellow the boiling hiss that skips and sputters past these familiar sinner's lips. help me crave the need and forego want, i need it all, this living hand begs for company. lost are old heroes, let them resurrect, holy Lazarus come back for revenge. the split lip can't forget. etiquette begs false consideration, the Tao's regret is the world's glowing crutch. The Way is broken but fortuned to coalesce to new faiths. Transcend the material and know a blessed sleep, for the spirits they weep and ache to share. Lost dog, at home to strangers, dull zombies wrought to death in subliminal stares, that rectangle eye where small truths are magnified, lies when focused burn the sheep. Atop the ant hill stands king cash and his dollar generals. Their muffler masks, green as money, turned passioned shouts to contented 'OKs' and botox looks. My uncle lured to a mannequin's grave now grins in 2D, my poor mother bathes in riches and pride, and withers at the sight of her son above clouds. Unburdened by lucre's bittersweet revery I bathe freely in flame, seeking the truth despite the cries of burnt skin. The man in white want me to wear his orange jacket, straight as a cylinder and topped with a white duncecap screw. Stay on earth, they say to the stars. dim your telescope and let us tell you what far out is, never dare to forray on your own dear children, for when you grow you Know and are ours no longer. Melt to us in platinum and silver, drink our false nectar from the capital chalice. Let us burn your cross, for if you ere to lift it yourself you would grow strong under it's burden. Forbid you ever brush it off and stand strong and proud, we forsake Men for sheep. We'll give you water, periodically, and though we shave your wool we'll bathe you in warm gasoline. That sickly smell we all love, reminds us who has the match. Aim for the Sol, burdened ones, like the Phoenix taste death and live anew. Rue the ways of the world, shun conventional wisdom, betray your gut no longer. Doubt is a beautiful teacher, for vindication breeds steal workers. Lift your arms and feel the calm release bleed from your shoulders like blooming wings. Down your deltoids feel them weep nectar, taste it as it pours down your cheeks, speak your mind and feel ambrosia take hold of our One True Mind. Seeb the knowers long past, Emerson and Thoreau, Plato and God's Son, the one of many. Follow the Tao. Fuck etiquette and bless and honor ruthless honesty. Be an anarchist of the One Love and One Truth. Forsake couth standards and common platitudes. Bleed with me, for together we'll swim unfettered. The salt stings and sings life. Healing bites. Right as a Halo, Ra's ring and Apollo's treasured soul. Fingers buzz in anticipation as worry slowly leaves my brow. Acceptance is found by those who've shared the same pains, and shunned by those who wish to stand tall, but only on the backs of their brethren. Fraternity is lost but so easily found. Our world withers. The hardest bonds to break have been broken. My mother and father have cried their goodbyes, and though acceptance burns they learn they can't tame the Soul, the one that bleeds through my anarchist wrist in love's embrace. they long for the innocence of my youth, the collared shirts and manicured nails, the gel in the hair and the graduation we'll never attend. The school of hardknocks demanded more than papers with lead bubbles. My best friend is a stranger to me, and sadly So it goes. Old friends and damn near all the family doesn't believe in my words, an outsider to all I know I put my faith in the gods and fate. Shackles rust as they crack and creak. Live like I, they say, and smile this damn mannequin smile with us, wear our plastic, too, because we love you, but Can't Accept. Wrecked relations, I still savor the tsunami. Clarity will choke these words from me, for they're true and tangible. Were they not I'd feel a shadows touch: slight cold, and nothing else. Prayers for rain, wash it all and wish for more. Untether me, Sol, that I may soar and roar like your beloved rapture, the golden-beaked raptor with sable eyes, obsidian ash so even in death She cuts those who step Her. Titanium still shakes when shot, rattles enamel and tears at my wings. Bullet proof I shake it off. My Love too great, my Muse too strong, my God too loving and my Faith too great. Emancipate the mind, grasp for Om.