ummm

i broke my fast to eat a Hershey's kiss. That's not bad at all. i just biked 20 miles to go to a meeting. No meeting, though, it was me and two other ppl who were having their own convo, no one made a significant effort towards making the meeting happen. i'm still proud of myself for making the ride over there. Yet i feel a little let down that after the kiss i ate a cookie... then a lil bit of popcorn. And then another cookie. i had 50 hours going. That's nothing to feel bad about, though, right? i worked out the last two days, and wasn't even planning on biking that far; i only did it bc i felt sick, and know meetings help. My roommates didn't wanna go so i went solo dolo. Why is it so hard to let go of the little slip ups and just be happy about what was actually done? i shouldn't have expected to finish the 3 days fasting perfectly. This must sound so lame. i hope i'm not humble-bragging. Fuck it, it's just perfectionist residue that hasn't yet been fully scrubbed off. No big deal. i used to feel worse over even more minor things, so that's a huge plus. Progress. Hurray.... :/

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My excuse was i was gonna work on some poetry, and needed the carbs to help my brain. i didn't start yet. i might not. i decided to write on here instead. It's something.

dunno what to do. sleep?

Tame The Ruckus

Indiana