my first time speaking

Eric took so long to share! short speaber my ass. and Amy's friend Michelle gave quite the speech on Amy and hers life. Amy likes being the center of attention, she attracts it. She looked lovely tonight. Curves! Smile! lol. I was getting annoyed when Eric took so long, i was all "look at me, it's my night to be the center of attention< but that didn't last long, i knew it was my ego. I'm grateful there were man delays. It gave me time to calm my nerves. Once I started it wasn't hard. I spoke from my heart the best I could. I hope all the attention doesn't get to my head. It felt so freeing to have people come up afterwards ad give me a genuine congratulations. I feel uneasy at the prospect of me getting attention bc i think i can fall for it and it could be a weakness. like I could be manipulated if i got the right kind of attention from the wrong person. That happened w Paco. Reassurance must come from within. No? I don't know. it's best to seek and find the truth myself. I believe this because we all have different values, mine contradict those of many and are based on my life, my experiences that others don't have. My values must be mine, and if i believe them it must not be as a result of other people's opinions. I believe that God let's me know what I must when I'm ready. No one else can do this for me. There are moments of light where truth is shown and it's those moments that guide me when i'm astray. I know enough to know that a lot of things i believe are too radical to be accepted by the mast majority of people. It's those beliefs that guide my actions. that's why it's important for me to dance to my own drum, other ppl have different tunes that don't vibe w me, that won't let me dance. they'd rather i march. i don't know where to go with this. i need to learn to express my beliefs better. more accurately. less confusion. there must be order. logic. reason. clarity. i'll get it.