to wander and shine

Apollo knew not what spurned him that day
to turn away from his immortal chore
leaving Sol hung aloft the western shores
as he ventured his first mortal foray

into a world of consequence, unknown
to a god who knew only perfection,
sang to by muses at his conception
and gifted a golden orb as his throne.

His first human words were met with surprise
by women who melted with rapture
and hatred by men, jealous to capture
his elysian voice, envy their demise

for when they slit the god's throat
they lost the stars, moon, and music's last note

i'm

coming
     alive   i
writhe
  ecstatic in the most
sinful caress
     rebel bliss
of happiness found
    within    beyond
  the eyes
you cannot fail
  to see   me
through

In the clearing

He sang
"Foh lay mi ah sol ah sue
ah sue fa la rahl ah vi"
In the blue light of a full moon's night. In the woods
She could not hear his lament. But
She felt the hairs on her arm rise like the tide.
"Ah sol fa la mi" he sang with force. And she
Heard the wind hiss through the rustle of cold
Leaves, and felt a chill spider up her neck. Still,
She heard no song, and walked on.
"A rhok cha-kel ah vi
ah rhok raiku a brahk!"
He yelled, closed fist
pounding his heart. Hot sweat poured
Down his face. Not so far off, she
Felt her throat tight. Demanding breaths
She walked on. Through the trees the moon painted stripes
Hush-blue on her skin. They climbed her lissome
Body like birds on air. At last
She heard his singing, faint as breath.
She walked towards his song. Exhausted
He sat on his knees. Softly
"Cahla sahl rool, ah sue fah-la si
ah sol ah sue sella-mi, ah se vi"
She felt her heart quiver as
He heard her coming near. Smiling
He closed his eyes and said
"Ah-ru ah la bell
soh fahl ah la tu"
And she cried when she held his face
In her hands, for he burned like red
Coal. And with a lost word he said
"

Riddle Eleven

What's a lucky number but superstition?
What's superstition if not a placebo?
If we had no faith in our doctors or God,
believing in pills, whether sugar or not,
would be futile, servile, most desperate at best.
Shrinks and street corner crooks would be one and the
shame of belief in a pill and it's powders
would bind our shoulders, our bodies like capsules-
Shells, bereft of this lack of faith forever
we smile at Dr. Treats as he shrinks our heads-
or revel in madness and smile at the dead.

Coalesce: wet silver lit

Wicker met Flame
   at God's fingertips
where Flame dying to shine
   and starving for air
flicked out like a whip
   and caught Wicker so pure and so bare
Flame held her close to breathe from her breath
     her every small cleft
       and every stray strand
And though Wicker at first
   shied and darted away
she brightened and burned
     with a blush and a grin
         and a wink sweeter than sin
and lay writhing as he had his fill
 He sucked every cord
   bit through every knot
and soon met her crown met her throne
           She shook in his arms
  bereft of facades
       as his mind
  met hers
     and finally knowing
 each other
      they kissed
 and went
out
~

it hurts to know

last night i felt your longing
tears singing from my eyes

i tried to
dance but can't rhythm
without you, hoping through smoke
like before a wish came true
in a dream i've lived
but can't remember

but i know it's you
it's you my thoughts are captive to-
you walk in so freely, an eternal breeze
breathing meaning into me

i don't know how i'll see you
again. it's tearing me every time i hope
it's today it's like time stood still
before dawn and i'm with open arms
and glistening eyes seeing nothing but feeling
you're around the corner of the next page of our lives.

Maybe we're both brand new to nascent hope
and we'll fall in love

with strangers we've always known

maybe i'll see you
smiling back and happy
and this dread will fall dead
as i learn to believe in the truth
of a promise

stigma

Burn my wrists black and listen to the hiss of blood learning to boil.
Watch as my seared skin splits- I dare you to mock
my stigmata. Hold my pen to my neck and pull
into me, strangle me slow with my steel.
My song will pour and roar.

You swear to me i'm dead,

that my lungs are filled with salt,
that my ears shrink under
the clamor of other's judgments,
that Duat's shadows crawl over my eyes
like blood curls down pearls.
You say i walk encumbered and stumble
under the weight of trepidation
but will soar like an angel nonetheless.
And you swear my dead body still breathes
and i'll sing a song that flies and flies and lifts me back to light
where Ra will open my eyes
so i may remember
how I come to be

Respite

My shaking hands, her bashful eyes,
we laid our rose to rest last night.
Cradled in Lethe's heavy quilt
I heard it's petals sing.

Lured by earnest elegy
the western Sun arose.
He kissed my weeping fingertips
and warmed her fallen breast.

In his breath we sighed relief,
unburdened. As before.
Like feathers in a dream we flew.
No shadows. Without care.

Remembering our golden dance,
leaves, burning, stood on edge
and leapt in splashing auburn waves,
our summer's dawn ballet.

I held her, soaring, in my arms,
and kissed her tear-streaked cheek.
Laughing, carefully, she hid
her eyes below my shoulder.

Her familiar touch brought nectar skies
to cloudless seas of sapphire.
And from the sun bloomed nascent hope,
unblemished, a new rose.

Like Icarus I craved her more.
She knowingly said no.
Like me, I drew her close and kissed.
Like us she did relent.

But for touching the sun we met
and lost reprieve,
for Lethe dried on my fingers, and
left her baptized lips. Cold

I broke our stare and met the dark,
Again. Our rose had sunk.
No mourning song to cut no sound.
But still, we felt the cries.

She whispered "Hi," so hopefully.
I, recalling, forced "goodbye."

Personal Ad

Every time I feel the pull of thirst

small clouds zip to me and pour
their crystal waters to my lips

and if the sun is loud they crown
my head in their cool shade.

And when my tummy grumbles
hungry beggars gather round and give
their dollars and their change

and haul to me vending machines
so I may snack with no delay.

And when I put their dollars in
the snack machine sends back
a crisper bill attached

and with the words "On me this time"
sir Benjamin winks back.

But, dear stranger, I must confess
all the vagrants cash and clouds
on this good earth cannot arrest

the crawling shawl of loneliness
that draws and pulls with bloodthick groans
round my tender heart's last breaths

nor the despair that tears my famished soul
like the death of a rose by her own thorns
and bleaks the light of life from once hopeful eyes!

So will you, stranger, take a chance
on this lost soul and

- oh, nvm
Kate Upton just said hi

you

glisten
dew on rose
      split
prettyred lip
   tickletongue
& blush    my
soul

your pearl glow sings
dawn on lavender
whispers under the tremble

of if
  my silver spreads into
    your fire pulse
 to burning-curl
    the ache of want of
       life

and glowing begs
 of me to let
   you come
             with
      me inside
  the passions of
   body    mind  the
    chambers   of
               catharsis

Acasia and lye,

lighter fluid and three days grace
make a helluva bomb, the stuff

rebel dreams are made of.
Sacrifice

what you hold dear, the material
visage, torch it

with the same flame you
light the fuse with. The world,

let it go. As you inhale
prepare to meet another

world beyond all you've ever known.
Trust what you're shown,

do not recoil.
Accept the trip

to sacred parts unknown. Follow the signs,
and when the terror sets in,

remember his name
and stand tall.

The world is more than what it seems-
Now take it.

Tiger Lilly

I closed my eyes and saw Eden,
  heard mockingbirds sing, felt the brush
    of a breeze on my skin, painting lavendar skies
      from the calm of blue. By the pond
        there's a whisper, gossamer breath,
      hushed by a flame reverent to the dance
        of memories treasured.

      Such a flower, like a star shines
        so beautifully,
          my reflection of you
            sweet Tiger Lilly

Susie's Song

Susie walks away
from the gray as the rain
carves rivers down

her skin. Beautifully cut
diamonds effloresce
& flow from her midnight filligrees,

starlight rivers
she bathes in. Red
smiles split her skin, kissing her,

whispering love songs and rainbows,
sweet lullaby goodbyes as Susie
floats to the clouds

Red Cups

When I was young we caught ants
 (we threw ping pong balls in red cups)
in red cups
 (laced with white dust, some)
                     . One got stuck
 (got stuck)
on the edge, his head cut off
 (on the back of my throat-)
still biting at air, his body
 (stuck under the cup)
hidden from the bright blue sky.

We never cared.

Fast forward circa Twenty15-
a Florida winter, maybe spring,
one year sober, clean:

We were itching
for fun, I felt
that familiar tension, that

tight
-ness of
chest, the rapid

shallow breaths, so
we went on a
run

to buy the cups and the
ping pong balls. So back
and forth, this life, no?

We placed the cups, two triangles, each
made of sicks
The Freudian slip goes uncensored

and we filled them with

water, and we played
music on Wilson's Bluetooth stereo.

It was my turn
to play a song, I chose "The Heart
Wants What It Wants" and I danced
like I never did as a kid

to the sound of splashing
water in red cups.

10 minute sonnet 013, 05-29-2017 "a session / in the womb"

Shedding skin, the smoke sets fire to the old
and crawls out blackened, his scales and wounds sewn
together with time. The clock's hands are shown
together, clapping twice a day, and felt

like a boom in my ears. Dig for the real,
walk like a gangster & let go the crutch.
The good God won't let you down, watch him catch
you with a subtle breath and sooth your soul

with warm waters. Blessed waves, a session
in the womb. The day relaxed went fast.
My realizations branched out like a tree,
roots hid in friendship, not so much wishing

for less pain, but more love, as worries roll
away, live waves sent back home. Love is all.

10 minute sonnet 012, 05-28-2016 "crave the hunger"

Across the moon's coarse dusk the basilisk
scurries, frenzied talons wide and over
our eyes he leaps, one sheep he leaps these crawl
through my sifted mind- dreams are so soon

realized, ingenuities bereft
of order will impose a tattered ruse
on the window of our lacquered house
in the dark, the last fright, vermouth as soft

as pillowed whispers, dawn on dawn, blue soft
against the fuchsia, orange. Candle light
mornings, premonitions of darkness- sight
lost as we seek to impose order. Sift

instead through tainted realities. Wolf
the foregone, crave the hunger, remain aloof.

10 minute sonnet 011, 05-27-2016 "get the hill?"

A wet along the crystal beam sweet sleep
her sleeping eyes a bashful heart of lull
to which my monstrosities dare to seep
to the bleeding sky, sublimation call,

possibilities linger, dreams afloat,
but disregard not one ounce
of effort lest your sleep be a garrote
to confidence, your style. Methods bounce

off you, the smartest non-caloric shake
stutters with a mumble. "Fuck off,"
"For heaven's sake" said the priest. Heaven's sake?
and what of mine? more sacred is my cough

than your feeling offended. I am full
of obstrocities, new blurbs, get the hill?

10 minute sonnet 010, 05-26-2016 "Rip my stars, let it ache"

I fell into the deep cave, cold fear,
and in the tomb my shaking arm roared
as I struggled to steady my light to the choir
of streaming notes poured down my face, rhythms

that wrenched my face to jagged Distortions sire
a mess of chemicals as my neurons try to sell
the best of me to shadows vaguely felt, half
of me is diminishing, the child dies, the seer

grows, chrysalis hardens, beautiful pain my lair,
humid breath escaping bit lips, anger froths
against the calm of this world I don't know. Wrought
from me is a forge of fire where flames ensnare

their tired breath. Let him bleed, his column broke
against my steel heart. Rip my stars, let it ache.

10 minute sonnet 009, 05-25-2016 "like toast"

I bit the teeth off the tip of the volta,
felt magnified under ecstasy's snare.
The witch slit her hip, her razorblack leer
hit my thighs like a solar flare, hot jolt

along my chest. I touched her salve. Sick croak
escaped my lips. The earth threw grass, green slung
at my eyes as the blades, green as jade wings,
towered over me, bare, Roanoke,

the houses Fungal hats, abandoned swill
empty porch, rain drops big as mangoes, suave
as down and leather, drip to my feet, swerve
at my toes and race beyond me. I feel

this hatred "Intinder" their bellicose
voices shout Rocks, I like them. Taste like toast.