I was going through a hard time, and shared about it with my friend, who recommended me the exercise you'll find below. The exercise is this: Draw a picture of a part of yourself and give him a voice, let him speak to you and tell you how he feels. Ask him what you can do to help him, and come through for him. So here it is, an act of self love:
"I don't speak. I feel like no one can see me. I always think I can do better, that all I've done isn't enough. I feel left behind. There are weights all over me. I'm not even sure why they're there, or if I even put theme there. I feel strong and weak. I like to dream I can fly, free of all these expectations. I want to run and not be timed, but I'm addicted to the stopwatch. I fight every day to stay awake. Maybe if I add another weight I'll be stronger. I feel so little. It's hard to breathe. I want strong lungs. I don't know when to take these off. I don't think I can. I'm tired, but I met someone who sleeps three hours a day. Maybe I should, too. That's 2-3 hours more awake each day to get more done. It's ok to feel tired, I rarely notice it though. My shirt burns with my sweat. I like to think I sweat and bleed fire. Sometimes I won't eat. It helps and hurts. I'd like to float and be able to close my eyes without sweating. I feel bad thinking about taking the chains off. I like them sometimes, because I like to be challenged. But this is more. Maybe I'm punishing myself. I don't think so, but it's hard to see behind this mask, it fogs the harder I breathe. I don't want to want them off. I want to run and have fun. I don't know where to go. I don't believe in rest. I want it and I also want it gone. Maybe just walking is enough. I don't believe it. It has to be hard. I have to earn whatever is next. My eyes sting. I want to sleep where it's cool. I want to earn your praise"
I give you waves of water and sleep and food to nourish your body. I free your weights and let you float care-free in my patience. I am your greatest rest, I will see you fresh, anew. I see your deeds, your loyalty. You stay true to me and so I plant for you gardens, abundant for all your needs. Have no fear when it feels like you're dropping it all. I let them fall so you may fly. Your gift, The Blanket of Waves.