Sexual Jesus

so say i'm w a girl, we're in love, and she's into some really weird stuff i don't want to do. somehow. and it just makes my tummy gurgle. in the bad way. WWJD? I think Jesus would be selfless. he'd probs be honest about it, if asked. "do you want to do this?" and jesus would be thinking NO, but fuck it if she likes toes that much then why not?? and he'd do something weird w her toes, just so that she doesn't feel awkward and unloved. i wonder if jesus would poop on her. i mean, if that was the only thing in the world that would make her feel loved, he would, right? no judgments here. or on Jesus' part. He's Jesus after all. He'd probably do it just the way she liked it. Probably prepare in advance, follow the proper diet, do a few trial and errors just to make sure it's just the right consistency.

God it's so freeing to write! it's been soo long. anyways, back to sexy Jesus.

Wonder what Sexual Judas would be like. probably some corrupt version of Shaggy's It wasn't Me. He'd be like, "It was him!" and Jesus might just remain quiet. and the third party would be like "damn, i really wish it was him (Jesus)"

Hmm. God's probs laughing at all this. why the fck not? No judgments. hmm. 

I bet Jesus loved strippers. Not in a Drake kinda way, but in a "I'll love you for who you are, sexy topless shaved lady, even if you're insecure of that mole on your butt." I bet in a moment of tender intimacy, he would stare into her eyes, and slowly caress her face to her shoulders, breast, belly, the V on her waist, and trace his finger around her, and her heart would pound the closer and closer Jesus got to her ugly butt mole. She'd be so scared, insecure (What if Jesus won't love me bc of my hairy ass mole?), but she would be too scared to move, or stop him, because deep down she wants to be touched there, to have her insecurities made known and accepted, and she thinks, NO, SHE FEELS, deep down beyond reason, where the truth lays waiting to be discovered, that Jesus will be different than all the men with the crumpled dollar bills. And staring into her eyes, Jesus would touch her insecurity, her eyes would furrow, but she can't break the gaze. it's too heavenly. and as he touches her insecurity he smiles, a beautiful smile, an honest expression of "everything is ok." And he would tell her "Deep down you know you're perfect just the way you are." and she believes him, because she always knew it. He just helped her see. And they would consummate this liberation with a physical connection, a union of bodies the only natural response to the resonance of souls and their Proclamation of Acceptance.